relationships

Oh, How Sweet Your Kiss

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What is kissing? Is it simply touching with the lips, one of the many signs of love, friendship or reverence. Is there a difference, are different types of kissing between a couple used to show one's feelings? For some kissing is kissing something or someone with repetition, vehemence and passion.

So, what is kissing?

What does it mean to you?

The kissing action in itself is simple. We even have examples of kissing in this basic form that have traversed time and space; the best known kisses are basically: the one that is called the "Judas kiss" because it is given as a false manifestation of affection and that of peace, which is given as a sign of affection and friendship.

When two people start a relationship, kisses are given all the time and anywhere, because it's the only intimate contact they can have; but as time goes on, kissing becomes a habit of structure with the importance of maintaining the sensation of unity within the relationship.

The kiss is the first step on the road to love and is the indispensable, creating a bond for a couple, besides that it gives a certain magical touch to a relationship and makes an avenue for greater passion, the desire to feel your partner's embrace, and through this deeper feelings arise. The longer it lasts, the more the blood vessels dilate, the more the receptors become sensitized and therefore the greater the pleasure it gives.

Apart from pleasure, performing this "habit" continually has its positive side:

  1. It is the best way to fill a relationship with energy.
  2. You can express a hello, I missed you, I love you, or I want you.
  3. A kiss says more than a thousand words.
  4. Give reassurance and the renewed feeling of being loved.
  5. It's a way to relax.
  6. Kissing can make the negative aspects of life fade even for an instant or for the duration of the kiss.
  7. The exchange of saliva is a sign of maximum confidence and desire for sublime fusion.
  8. It is the prelude to further embrace.

There are no special techniques, no recipes, no kissing rules; the essential thing is that it is given with tenderness and affection even when passion intervenes.

Some types of kisses include:

  • Soft and sweet kiss: expresses tenderness, can be accompanied by caresses and delicate looks.
  • Romantic kiss: it is given with all the strength of the love felt towards the other person
  • Sensual kiss: it's a way of flirting and incites passion and sensual contact
  • Encompassing Kiss: it takes your breath away, denote desire and show anxiety about possessing the other.
  • Passion kiss: it is much deeper and the caresses become more intense.

It's said that kissing is the thermometer of the relationship, so if you ever stopped wanting to kiss your partner, start worrying. Once married, perhaps that need to have maximum contact will fade away as you receive deeper understanding but it maintains the same gravity when kissing begins.

Here are some suggestions maintaining the passion:

  • Kiss your partner at every opportunity you have.
  • If you want to kiss in a public place, do so.
  • Focus on kissing and caressing without thinking about what follows.
  • Invent a code communication through kissing.
  • Understand that you do not need to have sex to feel pleasure; there are caresses and kisses that can produce unimaginable sensations.
  • Whenever you kiss, do it with tenderness, affection, respect but especially with love.

Fun facts about kissing in different cultures:

  • In Eastern culture, kissing is giving and receiving spiritual energy.
  • Contests of longer kisses have been held. One is the Kissing Tournament held in Mexico a few years ago.
  • It is said that if you manage to tie a knot with the cherry stem only with your tongue without touching it with your hands, it means that you know how to kiss well.

Don’t Be Afraid – Show Your Love

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The opposite of war is love and the opposite of love is not hate, it is fear.

What is love? Love is the basis for a healthy relationship, and every healthy relationship is a garden, a mystery that happens, for example, between two people, a garden that depends on both people to flourish. In this encounter where a new universe is created, in that encounter where phenomena happen and where both people are exchanged and transformed. This is a lot easier than it sounds when you understand love, what it does for you and how one embraces it inside the context of a relationship.

When two people meet they are two separate worlds, how they meet and if they hit it off is something sometimes tremendously complex. Each person is a world unto themselves, a complex mystery throughout their past and their finite future.

When we enter into a relationship, no matter how close, it is initially located on the periphery border of our experiences. If it is allowed to grow it will reach intimacy, it will become deeper, and it will have an impact on our future. If you are in your center and the other person is at its center, those two centers will begin to get closer and closer and something we call love with unite the two. This is the opposite of war, which tears apart and destroys it does not create.

When the encounter is peripheral we can say that we are only befriended. Even here we can touch each other, we can even have sex, but it will be from the edges of our borders, that's an intimately close acquaintance This "friend with benefits," should not be seen as somebody we are in love with, as intimacy and lust is something else entirely when it does not flow from love.

No, love is so much more than simple lust or desire.

To get to know a person, to reach that center is to go through a great change personally, something that takes time; this profound inner revolution which occurs because if you want to get to know a person at their center you will have to allow this change to happen. And that change is the longing, the with that we all make, to get to know that person, to let them help us get another perspective, a companion for life who helps us avoid the holes and heal wounds that we all have.

If you want a relationship, one that is deeper, that it is not a peripheral but profound you have to allow that person to also get to know you (the real you), for which you must become a vulnerable, open person, and this demands a greater risk, it is dangerous because you never know how much that person could harm you by knowing your deepest secrets, everything that we have hidden for a long time, not only to others, but to ourselves and now that can be exposed, and that's where fear comes in, so it's not very easy to open up, because fear directly touches our vulnerability, our feeling of rejection, of failure. It leaves us thinking "I'm going to expose myself and they may leave me."

What we're hiding is an idea of what's inside of us, maybe it's not good and, when they really know me, maybe they're going to "abandon me," so there are so many people who have this mechanism of protection that rationalizes ending relationships before anything happens, before that idea has to end the relationship, people who stay on the periphery border because they are unable to deepen a relationship, because deep down the relationship has never taken hold, leave the relationship before the relationship has a chance to leave them. This is to abandon before being abandoned. Why? Because we want to be hurt, we are not willing to risk finding out.

There are married couples, there are lovers both who have been together for many years and who are only known on that superficial level, who have never really connected with each other; and there are situations where the more you live with someone, the more you forget that center of balance you built with your partner early on. They remain lovers on the periphery of their lives, even if they are lovers of years they know nothing about each other.

Sex is the same, as it can be making love on the periphery. Unless the centers are united, sex results only in the encounter between two bodies and not at the soul.

Sex is only love when both people feel it in a sexual relationship, when the are at their center truly in love, in that case not only is sex love, but sex is sublime, it is eternal.

And when we allow someone to enter our center:

We're without out fear.

The person oriented towards love is someone who does not fear the future, who does not fear the one who stands next to them, who opens up, who is exposed and does not fear the result or the consequences of opening themselves up to someone else.

Age Disparity in a Relationship

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Today I wanted to hit on a topic that still seems un-addressed. Age disparity in relationships that cause a power imbalance. The list contains ten reasons why it's wrong to fall in love with someone older… This contributes to a theory several friends and I came to several years ago, which we began to see embodied in how many of us date.

The age difference in a sexual relationship is a common feature in many modern relationships. Social acceptance of age difference and concept about what is considered a significant age difference has varied over time, and also depends on different cultures and different legal systems, not to forget ethical reasons.

According to a 2010 study of 22,400 subjects in North America, Europe, Australia, and Japan, women showed no preference for much younger men. According to this study, women are generally interested in men of the same age or slightly older. This study also supports the different types of relationships (e.g. Enjokasai, Sugardaddy, Trophy Wife) that younger women with older men enter into for various reasons. An earlier study had also shown this result.

While the findings are more favorable for this construct we as a society often look less favorably toward the reverse.

While terms like mistress and girlfriend are the common words used to describe an older man and younger woman. Woman are see as cougars, sugar mommies (with Boy Toys), or MILFs. This is how our culture describes different types of women's interests in younger male sexual partners or vice versa, and are supported, for example, by a 2003 study by the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP). After that, 34% of women over the age of 40 meet with younger men. Likewise, many older women have been paying younger lovers for sexual adventures in many of the tourist resorts in the Caribbean, Asia and Africa for several decades.

According to another 2003 study by the Office for National Statistics for England and Wales, the number of women married to younger men rose from 15% to 26% between 1963 and 1998.

According to the US Census Bureau, there were fewer than half a million couples in the United States in 1997 with an age difference of at least ten years. In 2003, however, there were about 3 million couples in which the man was at least six years younger than the woman. International online dating services, such as match.com with about 20 million members, note an increase in the proportion of women in their databases who would like to meet a man who is at least ten years younger.

In today's Western society, many divorced older women are socially and financially independent.

Whether or not this type of relationship structure will become more normalized in our society is yet to be seen.

One point that is still relevant, however, is the problem that age disparity (10 years) plays in a relationship.

Communication is the Cornerstone of a Relationship

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Communicating with your partner is what makes a foundation for the happy relationship most couples strive for. This is, often overlooked however when people assess aspects of their relationship that they feel need attention.

Many couples end their relationships because they can't find an understanding. This lack of communication leads to fights, anger and resentment which in most average relationships can be resolved through an open dialog. You can prevent communication problems in your relationships by practicing some of the following tips. If you can apply some of these ideas you will be given the chance to avoid communication problems with your partner. It's amazing how small things can help, to be attentive and listen, or notice something good in the other person, all of which can improve your relationship.

Relationships in general can be difficult.

Communication is very cornerstone in the relationship; but it cannot betaken lightly, if so, without realizing its importance which lies in the fact that it helps us to grow we will neglect a central element that all successful couples share.

Many couples end their relationships because they can't find an understanding with their partner. This lack of communication then leads to those common three problems many list in therapy: fights, anger and resentment. Problems due to lack of communication are the result of:

  • A lot of talk, but not a lot of listening;
  • Use of indirect communication that does not make a clear point;
  • Showing a defensive attitude like being aggressive;
  • Dishonesty.

You can prevent communication problems in your relationships by practicing some of the following tips:

  1. When you meet with your partner, listen to what he or she has to say, think before you respond.
  2. Get to the point. There's no need to hide anything. Be open and clear so that misunderstood do not happen.
  3. Be honest and don't lie. The lie only leads to a lack of trust, doubt and resentment inside relationships.
  4. Try to be assertive. You need to understand the other person, but you must also express your feelings and ideas clearly. A relationship consists of two people so there must be two voices with a reasonable outcome.
  5. To improve communication in your relationship there must be openness on both sides. You can do this by sharing your experiences, the good and the bad. This will help both people relate on each other.
  6. When a discussion arises, avoid comments that will harm the other person. This includes generalizations and contempt. If you don't do this, you'll later feel sorry for what you said. It is also important that both exalt self-confidence and self-esteem.
  7. Find something good despite the negative. Let your partner have their own space by avoiding being a controller and insisting that they are always right.

If you can apply some of these ideas you may be able to avoid communication problems with your partner. It's amazing how small things we can do improve listening make a big difference when it comes to noticing something good in the other person.

Intimacy Comes From Within

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Many couples feel dissatisfied with their relationship on a sexual level and blame their partner; unable to think that there may be other reasons why they don't enjoy sex.

Today, it has become increasingly common to use copulation as a way to express other feelings, or as a way to solve other situations that have nothing to do with intercourse itself. Thus, the erotic relationship becomes a loaded experience, one with a lot of feelings; yet one stripped of its true and subsequent strength, which at the same time inevitably causes dissatisfaction, frustrations, and a sense of lacking.

Research into sexual health has brought forth example that spontaneity to become affectionate and show affection does not often exist between such couples. Thus, many people confuse making love their partner as the only way to expression in how they feel about each other. When this happens, needs are confused, and intimate moments lose passion and are no longer pleasant. Men are more prone to bundling sex together with the expression of love than do women. Today this is less acceptable, what was once one of the only culturally acceptable ways for a man to show affection to his wife is now a limitation.

It is true that sex can be a way of expressing affection, but it is also true that sex must be primarily pleasant for both parties and it is important that there are also other ways of giving and receiving affection that should not disappear in the couple's relationship. To avoid this confusion, it is important that they are clear about their emotional needs on the one hand, and on the other the sexual needs which are present in all healthy couples, without the former diminishing the latter.

So it's important to make it clear that it would be nice to kiss every night before bed, or a hug during the day. Hugging is important because it releases increase levels of oxytocin and reduces blood pressure. There is little question why it is universal in human communities. It is also recommended that the couple take at least 10 minutes every night to be nearby each other and cuddle with their partner without erotic intentions. Cuddle will fill the sentimental desire so that sexual desire can be enjoyed more broadly.

Another wrong reason why many couples make love with one another is to make peace in the household (makeup sex), to be distracted with something else, to combat stress, or compensate for the problems of everyday life. This situation causes a serious problem for many couples, because the person who uses it, that flees into sex, will get used to not facing life and hide in their moments of passion, so that they will soon stop being able to enjoy the moment, and in addition, the other person will never learn to support their partner if it is not a topic easily address which will prevent them from communicating and end up relating sex to help, which completely undermines its potential.

In order to resolve stressful situations in the home it is necessary to learn to open a dialog and to comment sincerely on one's feelings. It is also essential to say what is expected of sex, the needs that are present in the relationship and the gaps in other areas which are not replaced with sexual contact. Likewise, the couple must understand that the pleasure of both is important.

Likewise, some people will evade sex and avoid emotional interaction with their partner, always seeking intimate contact. Instead of talking about their problems they may want to have sex. In this circumstance, what needs to be made clear is that sex is not a substitute for emotions. It complements them and is undeniable that it brings the couple closer, but you must have communication at all levels for it to function, a relationship must include all aspects to be satisfying both erotically and emotionally.

Another common issue in an unhealthy relationship is that some people vent all their frustrations and anger in the sexual act. This is not healthy because you can hurt the couple in a very aggressive outburst, or you can stop enjoying sex, because it always reminds us of the problems of daily life. Alternate to this it might also become enjoyable which is a sign of deeper issues. To avoid all this, we must have true and sincere communication with our partner and also know how to discern when we are not in optimal condition to make love.

In those moments, an intimate conversation or hug may be more effective for the couple.

Anyway, as you can see, it's easier for a sexual relationship to deteriorate by the emotional burden of sex that is added over time, rather than time itself. When the couple manages to get rid of all those non-intimate reasons, they will immediately enjoy the experience more and will be able to experience new horizons.