joy

The Need for Love

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People often confuse love connected to need, for many their is the mystery of love. But is it so mysterious? How many of you have ever seen or been near a much-needed person?

People in need are taken. That's all we have to say. If a person in need is a taker, is he expressing love? They're not expressing love. They're in a state of need.

Most people don't understand the difference between a state of need and a state of love.

All they understand is that no one is meeting their needs. And if your needs aren't met, that usually causes disappointment. That need can be as small as having your mother or father tell you that they love you or that you did well. Maybe they didn't tell you that. In that case, you would have been disappointed because you needed to be given their approval.

But why did you need to be told that? Because you wanted your parents to recognize that you'd done something good.

Now, what happens when needy children get older? How many of you are adults and needy?

I read in the paper recently that we as a nation are becoming more needy.

Are you needy?

Go ahead, everything is fine, confession is good for the soul. There's something specific to learn about love. And this is this: if we know that the most sublime feeling is the action of giving and that this action is the nature of love itself, then we, who are the givers, almost never find ourselves in a state of need, because we are in a state of love. Because you see, when you are in a state of love, you are in a state of happiness. When you are in a state of happiness, you are not in a state of need: you are in a state of joy.

However, most people interpret that only based on being in love with particular people. It remains to be discovered that it spans a lifetime and that, in truth, it understands all people. And that love has to be comprised of a 360-degree circle. It can't just be 30 degrees of that circle. It has to be complete for our happiness to be complete.

Make A Spark; A Fire

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In relationships, the sexual aspect is fundamental and a gift you give to one another, the sensations obtained are rewarding and healthy for the mind, body and spirit. Here are some simple but very effective tips. You don't need to turn your relationship into a fantasy routine, but to experience new things that lead you to feel joyful and happy isn't about that.

Variety

If you use the same positions and techniques all the time it eventually becomes boring. The sense of intrigue and adventure is lost and becomes predictable and tedious. Variety is what turns an ordinary relationship into an extraordinary, fun and intriguing relationship, with adventure and passion. Remember that variety not only means treating different things at different times but also incorporating new things and techniques that you've never tried before.

Sex lives. We all have them to one degree or another. Some of them are fulfilled while other feel that it is somehow lacking. But what is really good sex? It means being enlivened and open to your partner. The more experiences you share outside of the bed will benefit the pleasure for both of you in bed.

Use Your Entire Body

It's important that you stay active, stroke your partner and caress them. Being active doesn't mean jumping around at all times. If you have your hands free then you can stroke their back, caress or touch them, sex is not limited to their erogenous zones.

Simply touching it will excite you and it might be all that you need to improve your bedtime experience.

Communicate with Your Partner!

Your partner needs to know what they are doing in order to please you just like you need their input. If you stay quiet you will never get satisfaction in bed. For women this can be harder than men. Men tell you what they want in bed. Your boyfriend or husband is open and says it without any problem; this makes it easier and that's why you have to do the same for him and communicate your needs.

This doesn't mean you have to be super specific, if you give them some basic directions they will be able to find their way around. Especially if they are in tune with you at a deeper level. This communication helps to improve the love in the relationship and bring a couple closer together as a couple in bed. Your intimate life will undoubtedly improve if you can openly communicate what you really like.

Now it's very likely that you've heard this many times but have you ever tried to open that dialog? Would you belive that I put it into practice? This weekend, take time and talk a bit about it with your partner. Your relationship will thank you.

Intimacy Comes From Within

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Many couples feel dissatisfied with their relationship on a sexual level and blame their partner; unable to think that there may be other reasons why they don't enjoy sex.

Today, it has become increasingly common to use copulation as a way to express other feelings, or as a way to solve other situations that have nothing to do with intercourse itself. Thus, the erotic relationship becomes a loaded experience, one with a lot of feelings; yet one stripped of its true and subsequent strength, which at the same time inevitably causes dissatisfaction, frustrations, and a sense of lacking.

Research into sexual health has brought forth example that spontaneity to become affectionate and show affection does not often exist between such couples. Thus, many people confuse making love their partner as the only way to expression in how they feel about each other. When this happens, needs are confused, and intimate moments lose passion and are no longer pleasant. Men are more prone to bundling sex together with the expression of love than do women. Today this is less acceptable, what was once one of the only culturally acceptable ways for a man to show affection to his wife is now a limitation.

It is true that sex can be a way of expressing affection, but it is also true that sex must be primarily pleasant for both parties and it is important that there are also other ways of giving and receiving affection that should not disappear in the couple's relationship. To avoid this confusion, it is important that they are clear about their emotional needs on the one hand, and on the other the sexual needs which are present in all healthy couples, without the former diminishing the latter.

So it's important to make it clear that it would be nice to kiss every night before bed, or a hug during the day. Hugging is important because it releases increase levels of oxytocin and reduces blood pressure. There is little question why it is universal in human communities. It is also recommended that the couple take at least 10 minutes every night to be nearby each other and cuddle with their partner without erotic intentions. Cuddle will fill the sentimental desire so that sexual desire can be enjoyed more broadly.

Another wrong reason why many couples make love with one another is to make peace in the household (makeup sex), to be distracted with something else, to combat stress, or compensate for the problems of everyday life. This situation causes a serious problem for many couples, because the person who uses it, that flees into sex, will get used to not facing life and hide in their moments of passion, so that they will soon stop being able to enjoy the moment, and in addition, the other person will never learn to support their partner if it is not a topic easily address which will prevent them from communicating and end up relating sex to help, which completely undermines its potential.

In order to resolve stressful situations in the home it is necessary to learn to open a dialog and to comment sincerely on one's feelings. It is also essential to say what is expected of sex, the needs that are present in the relationship and the gaps in other areas which are not replaced with sexual contact. Likewise, the couple must understand that the pleasure of both is important.

Likewise, some people will evade sex and avoid emotional interaction with their partner, always seeking intimate contact. Instead of talking about their problems they may want to have sex. In this circumstance, what needs to be made clear is that sex is not a substitute for emotions. It complements them and is undeniable that it brings the couple closer, but you must have communication at all levels for it to function, a relationship must include all aspects to be satisfying both erotically and emotionally.

Another common issue in an unhealthy relationship is that some people vent all their frustrations and anger in the sexual act. This is not healthy because you can hurt the couple in a very aggressive outburst, or you can stop enjoying sex, because it always reminds us of the problems of daily life. Alternate to this it might also become enjoyable which is a sign of deeper issues. To avoid all this, we must have true and sincere communication with our partner and also know how to discern when we are not in optimal condition to make love.

In those moments, an intimate conversation or hug may be more effective for the couple.

Anyway, as you can see, it's easier for a sexual relationship to deteriorate by the emotional burden of sex that is added over time, rather than time itself. When the couple manages to get rid of all those non-intimate reasons, they will immediately enjoy the experience more and will be able to experience new horizons.